we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think my vagina is haunted
this beer tastes like vomit already
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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