Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
