to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize