if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
