i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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