Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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