just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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