1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
