there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
