You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
