Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
