I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize