Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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