and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
