yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize