how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
