i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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