He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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