this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
