grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
