"it" just moved
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
third nipple confirmed
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Randomize
