i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
