She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
