he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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