Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
