Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Still dying that you shit outside
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
