Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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