plz talk dirty to me
I bet he comes in French.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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