I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
