My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
