Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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