youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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