he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
