if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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