Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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