sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
