I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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