I cannot find my penis.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
