Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
This is the high leading the old right now
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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