Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
