i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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