i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
