did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
this just has baby written all over it
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Randomize
