Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
