I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
