Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
