going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
