its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
