wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
