in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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