So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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