I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
