i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
