Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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