The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
NoShamevember. You game?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
