I didn't shave. On purpose
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
