YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
