My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
