i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
