watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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