I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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